A Fit, but Not a Match: The Evolution of Me

Lately, it feels like I’m shedding layers I didn’t even know I was wearing.

Every day, I wake up and feel myself evolving. My thoughts, my style, my desires. It’s like something inside me is upgrading. One moment I’m holding onto things that used to matter, and the next I’m making another drop at Goodwill, clearing space for the woman I’m becoming.

The other day, I was looking back at old pictures and cringed at my outfits. Not because they were ugly or the wrong size, but because they were no longer a match for the woman I am today. They fit my body, yes, but not my evolution. Life is happening fast. Clothes that once made sense now feel like remnants of someone I’ve outgrown. This evolution is happening in every area of my life. I’ve learned that something or someone can be a fit but not a match.

You know how, when a person gets an organ transplant, they have to find a compatible organ to reduce the chance of rejection? Otherwise, the body will not accept it. That’s my life right now. My soul has been rejecting anything and everything that no longer feels like a match, even if it technically fits.

At first, it was just a pair of jeans. Then a jacket. Then a whole chapter.

This process of letting go has become a quiet ritual. It’s showing me who I no longer am. What’s wild is how this shift shows up in the smallest ways. A pair of shoes I can’t imagine ever wearing again. A friendship I thought would last forever starting to fade. A version of me that just doesn’t feel like home anymore.

The other day, I stumbled on one of my old Instagram pages. It was filled with photos from a different season of life. For a moment, I sat there thinking, I never thought this would be my story. How did I get here?

But in that moment, I was reminded of something simple and powerful. Life changes. No matter how tightly we try to hold on to one version of it, things are shifting in real time.

Then God showed me a photo of my oldest daughter when she was a baby. I remembered how beautiful that season was. Then I looked at her now, at eleven years old, and I saw something else. A new version of her. A preteen with big feelings, sharp instincts, and so much love. She is one of my closest friends. She gets me. She challenges me. She admires me.

Both versions of her are beautiful. And both versions of me are too.

Of course, there are days I miss her being itty bitty, just like there are days I miss the old version of myself. But there is something truly sacred about witnessing someone become. That includes our children, our friends, and most importantly, ourselves.

And when I think about this process, I can’t help but think about Ruth.

Ruth’s story in the Bible is one of release and rebirth. She left her homeland, her past, and everything she knew to follow Naomi into unfamiliar territory. She didn’t know what was ahead, but something in her spirit said go. She said, “Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God.”

She honored her past, but she didn’t stay in it. She trusted the pull of purpose. And what she stepped into was greater than anything she left behind. She didn’t just find love again. She found legacy. Her life became part of something much bigger than she could have imagined.

I think many of us are having Ruth moments. Letting go. Moving forward. Choosing evolution over comfort. Learning how to carry the lessons without clinging to the identity.

So I want to leave you with this.

It’s okay to let go of what used to be.

It's okay to feel emotional about who you’re no longer meant to be.

It’s okay to be excited and unsure about who you are becoming.

Change isn’t the enemy. It’s the evidence that you’re still alive, still growing, still being shaped into the person you were always meant to be.

Lean into the evolution of you.

Love & Light,

Ebony