Stop Fighting Back: Fight Forward

I have always been a fighter. Mainly because I have always had people pick on me for my looks, size, success, or lack thereof. It seemed like no matter what I had or didn’t have, life was always throwing me a bully of some sort. And typically, I have never been one to back down from a fight. I’ve always been willing to stand against any enemy, big or small. But over time, I’ve come to realize that not every fight is worth fighting. But gosh, I want to fight. I want to fight back. Every day this week, I have had to resist the urge to fight back. I have felt wronged on so many levels—falsely accused, inaccurately represented, misunderstood, and misjudged. In these moments, my instinct is to stand up, speak out, and defend myself. But something inside keeps telling me that not every fight is mine to win.

When God woke me up the other day with these words, "Stop fighting back," I immediately jumped into meditation to understand those words. God, what do you mean, stop fighting back? Does that mean to just sit back and let life happen? Does that mean to just take whatever is thrown at me? Is this seriously a turn-the-other-cheek moment?

The answer is simple: No. No, this is not about losing the fighter in me. It’s about refining what I’m fighting for. Am I fighting to prove a point? Fighting to expose someone? Fighting to be right? If so, what is the reward? Fighting only takes you back to the very thing you're trying to escape. It’s time to stop fighting back and start fighting forward. Fighting forward is about having the courage to fight for what you want. What do I really want? Peace, healing, true love, and wholeness. That’s the only thing I’m fighting for, and that’s what propels me to keep moving forward.

I am reminded of the children of Israel (Exodus 14:14) when they were leaving Egypt and Pharaoh was hot on their tail. He was coming with a fight, but God never instructed them to fight back. Instead, He told them to keep moving forward, as the Lord would fight their battles. Here’s the thing: that didn’t mean their journey was without a fight. When it was time to pursue the promise, they were instructed to fight.

Why am I sharing this? Life is not without its battles, but we must always keep the real battle at the forefront. What do you really want? Save your energy to fight for the love you want, not the love that never returned to you. Fight for the career you want, not the one beneath your skillset. Fight for the friendships that pour into you, not the ones riddled with jealousy and deceit. There are people, things, and experiences worth fighting for—but when the fight is about pride and ego, there is no real win there.

Another example is Hannah in the Bible. In 1 Samuel 1:6-10, Hannah was barren, and her husband's other wife, Peninnah, would provoke her constantly. But Hannah never fought Peninnah. Instead, she went to the temple to fight for the child she wanted through prayer. She took that energy and aimed it toward what she really desired. So, instead of screaming at who hurt you, turn your voice up to God and worship. Pray for your healing. Fight for that! Instead of swinging at the enemy behind you, use those same hands to grab the blessings ahead of you. That’s what’s worth fighting for.

Ask yourself, when I enter this fight, what do I win? And that will give you all the answers you need to determine if this is a battle worth fighting. I hope this was helpful. It helped me. And trust me, it's still a struggle for me. Even now, I have chosen to write this blog to pour into something that brings life, instead of putting my efforts toward tearing someone down. And I am proud of myself. (I'm still a little petty, but GROWTH is the goal.) I love you all so much. Remember to pick your battles. Choose the fight that ends with life!

Love, Peace, and TEA!

Ebony King!!

P.S. I am about to do something CRAZY! I hope you all are still along for the ride. :-)